Please beat the Boks!

Nick Talbot on Planet Rugby rubbishes South Africa’s chances of World Cup victory as only an English journalist can. And to think we supported England just last week!

“It could be my new-found love of all things Argentine or the prospect of seeing another bunch of super-sized numpties chow down on a bowl of their own words, but I’m begging the rugby gods to send the Springboks tumbling out of proceedings this weekend.

Pray tell me what South Africa has achieved in rugby since 1995? Not one Super 12 title and just two Tri-Nations, which is pretty crumby considering there are only three players at the table.

Yes, there was this year’s Super 14 victory for the Bulls, but look me straight in eye and tell me that the absence of the All Blacks didn’t have something to do with that.

Yet just look at the Boks. Here they are in France flaunting the sort of misplaced arrogance that has not been seen in these parts since Marie Antoinette called for cake for all.

The media rightly dug up the bone-headed blurb that fell out of Aussie and Kiwi mouths prior to their respective defeats, but it is the South Africans who have the absolute monopoly on crass talk.

What’s more, far from learning from their fallen southern brethren that words will always come back to haunt you, they have simply pressed on by making wilder and wilder claims about their overwhelming superiority – even after struggling to beat a microscopic archipelago with a population smaller than that of South Africa’s desolate Northern Cape.

The self-congratulatory musings began once the quarter-final line-up had been confirmed.

“I’m not taking away anything from Fiji or Argentina, but the reality is we’ve never lost to Argentina or Fiji – all we’ve got to do is what we’ve done in the past,” said Jake White. Funny, no mention of Scotland – I guess they just didn’t register as a serious threat to the brilliant Boks.

White actually admitted, with a chuckle, that he had disregarded the prospect of playing Fiji in the quarter-finals and had been keeping tabs on Wales. But, no worries, “beating Fiji is not rocket-science”.

Bok centre Jaque Fourie managed to trump his boss by declaring that Fiji were undeserving of South Africa’s respect.

“I think a bit of arrogance is required,” he said.

“I mean, we have never lost to Fiji. We really are not bothered about them.

“There is a lot of talk about how we must not get sucked into their way of playing [as Wales did], but surely it is them who should be worried about us? We are going to force our structure on them, not the other way round. This is Fiji. What the hell?

“If we can’t beat Fiji then there is something seriously wrong with our rugby – and I have no doubt that our rugby is healthy.”

The Indepedent newspaper of South Africa introduced this moving elegy to sporting bonhomie by stating: “Jaque Fourie, the irrepressible, irreverent Springbok centre, has put his team’s quarter-final against Fiji into its correct perspective.”

Does that not make your blood boil? I confess to kicking my dog when Fourie – surely the most ordinary centre to have ever graced a Springbok side – scored against the islanders. But Fido and I were soon wagging our tails as some languid Fijian heroics caused the South Africa to shove the ball up the jumpers in absolute fear.

Yes, perhaps there is something seriously wrong with our rugby, Jaque – you seem to talk better than you walk.

But not even scrapping past a semi-professional outfit was enough to silence the gloating. The departure of New Zealand and Australia from the tournament has convinced the Republic that the spoils are there for the taking. The nation’s papers are united in talk of “an easy route” to the Final.

Bok prop Os du Randt, never less than the perfect gentleman, even went as far as to say that the sight of New Zealand exiting the stage “was like first prize for us”.

Whoaaa – hold your oxen, big man!

The All Blacks were beaten by France. France are still in the competition. France will now play on home soil in front of their own fans. How does that make South Africa’s challenge any easier?

By beating New Zealand away from home, Les Bleus have just pulled off something the Boks haven’t done since 1999. Interestingly enough, that win also come at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, albeit in the World Cup’s largely meaningless third-place play-off.

What’s more, France – the recent victors of a side the Boks have beaten only once in their last six attempts (by one whole point) – lost to Argentina, South Africa’s next opponents, on French soil. The Boks haven’t done that in ten years.

So where is this all this hot air coming from? Where is this “easy route”? Is it a deliberate ploy to engender some sort of the world-against-us laager mentality? If you are a South African, please – for Fido’s sake – help me figure it out!”