From hayibo.com:
CAPE TOWN. Controversial Springbok rugby player Luke Watson has denied that he will try to bolster his flagging popularity by producing a sex tape similar to those allegedly featuring coach Peter de Villiers and Joost van der Westhuizen. According to a spokesman, a Watson sex tape was an impossibility as there was no-one in the country willing to sleep with him.
Both De Villiers and Van der Westhuizen saw their public profiles raised dramatically after they were linked to sex tape scandals, thanks largely to South African rugby fans who wanted to see both men naked.
However this morning Watson’s spokesman, Vuvuzela Mdingi, said that the controversial flanker was unlikely to go that route.
“Luke is a really humble guy and knows that once you get into the sex tape industry you’re following in the footsteps of giants,” said Mdingi.
“For Luke, the Springbok comes first.
“In fact, that’s the team ethos. Ask any of the wives or girlfriends of the lads in the squad and they’ll tell you: a Springbok always comes first.”
A recent opinion poll revealed that Watson’s popularity is on the wane in South Africa, and that he is admired slightly less than Serbian war criminal Slobodan Milosevic. However Mdingi confirmed that Watson had a plan to rebuild his image.
“He doesn’t need a sex tape,” he said. “Even if he could find someone to sleep with him – and the only reason he hasn’t is because he hasn’t asked, plus he sometimes has spinach in his teeth – he wouldn’t make a tape.
“That’s just tacky. And not good tacky, either, like appearing on a morning sports chat show.”
Instead, said Mdingi, Watson would probably relaunch his career on the wildly popular SABC music quiz show Noot Vir Noot.
“Not a lot of people know that Luke knows every Carike Keuzenkamp song ever written. He’s going to be awesome on the ‘Dertig Duisend Vyf in ‘n Ry’.”
Meanwhile friends and supporters of Joost van der Westhuizen say they are determined to watch the tape, allegedly featuring the Bok star, as many times as it takes to clear his name.
According to one friend who wished to remain anonymous, but is known in Hillbrow as Madame Thrust, the group assembled most nights to try to identify the man in the tape.
“We’ve watched it a moer of a lot of times,” he said. “It’s hell, having to see that kind of filth, but we’ll do it for Joost.”
ha ha hilarious!!